Why Podcasts Are Terrible (But Mostly Good)

Welcome to Podcast Philosophy 101.

Welcome to Podcast Philosophy 101. I am your professor, Will Hagle.

You may be sitting there, in this non-existent college classroom, wondering, “First of all, how the hell is this guy who occasionally sends me poorly-edited emails qualified to teach a doctorate-level course on podcasts? And second of all, how did I get auto-enrolled in this course at this fictional university anyways? STOP. REPORT AS SPAM!”

To your first question, I would answer:

I have a genuine passion for podcasts. I’ve been listening to them for 15 years. Producing them since 2016. Earning my primary income from the INDUSTRY since 2019.

To your second question and subsequent two commands, I would say:

You can always unsubscribe.

But back to your first question. Thanks for asking. I started off just recording my friends, for fun, for free. When the INDUSTRY started dumping money into podcasts in 2019, and I was a broke as hell part-time dog trainer / aspiring writer, I decided I better cash in on the bubble before it bursts. I got extremely lucky with a few gigs and one thing led to another. I’ve worked on several successful podcast series and many relative failures, in full-time roles at large corporations and as a freelancer for independent individuals and startups. The ones I’ve co-hosted have all been commercial nothings, but fun and enjoyable experiences nonetheless.

But even without any of that experience I’d still be qualified to rant about podcast philosophy, as would anyone who’s ever listened to a podcast or tried to make one. That’s the beauty and/or curse of the medium. The barrier to entry is low. Everyone is an expert.

Now is the point of the lecture where I pose a question to the imaginary class before dropping this email’s cringey conceit:

What is a “Podcast”?

****COMMENT BELOW!*****

I don’t think anyone could come up with a definitive answer. The term, and the medium to which it refers, have both evolved drastically since their inception in the early 2000s. We all have an idea of what “podcast” means, but it’s a little bit different to everyone. It’s definitely different now compared to even a year or two ago.

I’ve witnessed firsthand this extreme and accelerated evolution. My favorite shows have come and gone. A few are still around, either massively bigger or still just profitable/artistically-fruitful enough to keep going. Most have had to adapt to changing consumer trends and preferences, as well as the capitalistic realities of the INDUSTRY.

Originally, the term “podcast” referred to independently published media distributed via RSS feeds. I still wholeheartedly believe in the importance of that now-antiquated approach. Although many podcasters have abandoned free & open RSS for exclusive distribution on closed channels owned by big tech companies, and it’s almost impossible to break through as an unknown independent, the original ecosystem persists. Anyone can publish anything, and anyone can download it. Podcasts remain a stark contrast to the top-down distribution of cable TV or streaming services.

Podcasts are also an alternative to algorithmic driven social media. You have to seek out feeds and follow them. It’s the way the internet used to be for news articles and other forms of entertainment, before we submitted to a continuous stream of unwanted slop being shoveled down our throats.

I also recognize the now-inextricable relationship between podcasts and social media algorithms. How sometimes you’re swiping through the slop and two bros with dangling Shure Sm7bs intrude with the worst take you’ve ever heard in your life. A sizable audience consumes podcasts like that, on TikTok, without ever following the show their eyeballs are so obviously glued to. The worst parts of the internet have bastardized the best.

Like the rise of social media, the increasing popularity of podcasts has coincided with and likely directly led to many general societal pitfalls. It’s not hyperbole to say podcasts have transformed the way people create and consume information, and therefore have transformed us in a larger, scarier sense. We may be debating for decades whether or not it’s been a net positive for people to parasocially tune into rants and conversations that overtly influence their own thoughts and behaviors. But I’m on the optimistic side. It’s terrible but mostly good.

You know what’s not good, though? Most podcasts.

In my years of working in THE INDUSTRY, I’ve developed a sort of PHILOSOPHY. I like sharing it with people IRL. Now I will do it with my captive audience of email openers.

For lesson one of Podcast Philosophy, I’m just going to gripe about my biggest pet peeves. These are the Top 5 Podcast No-Nos, the Main 5 Reasons Most Podcasts Suck, The Worst Of The Worst.

These are all personal opinions, so don’t take any advice and ask me why nobody listens to your show about potatoes. I should also caveat that I mostly consume comedy, music and sports podcasts, so there may be a slight bias toward those types. But these complaints can be applied to any genre.

There will not be a quiz but I will give you a grade if you like this post or reply with a comment. Even just to tell me you really hated this email.

1. Aimless Formats

I don’t like podcasts that don’t have a format. I enjoy a good theme. Each episode, a familiar template. No matter what happens, then, I can trust that the foundation is firmly in place. The improvised conversation between the hosts or guests is what makes or breaks an episode, but a format gives them a jumping off point and something to fall back on if they go off the rails. The format can be as high-concept and detailed as “Potato Trivia with Converted Religious Nurses” to “A Show About Potatoes.” I just think that shows should at least attempt to be about something, and think intentionally about both content and structure.

You could easily refute this point by stating that The Joe Rogan Experience is the most popular podcast in the world. People like it, in part, because it has no real format. Joe just yaps for 3 hours about whatever he and his guest want to yap about (I’m a few years outdated, but last I listened, this would be 2.5 hrs of yapping against covid restrictions and how terrible LA is). That’s fine and dandy I suppose, but it’s not for me. Plus now the “Joe Rogan” style has become a format in and of itself.

Massively popular personalities can get away with aimless interviews in the “Joe Rogan” style, because their audiences will tune into them no matter what. I still would recommend to any potential celebrity client not to start a new show that consists of just turning on the mics, rambling and seeing what comes out the other side. It’s not sustainable. It’s not interesting. There’s only a limited amount of potential guests anyways and at some point everyone starts repeating the same stories or answering the same generic questions about their background or latest project. As host, you’ll do the same. It will be embarrassing. You will have to retreat to a remote forest and isolate from public life, suffering a deep paranoia that paparazzi lurk behind the trees, like panthers.

The one pitfall of actually having a format for your podcast is that formats can grow stale fast. Or the podcast’s general premise can be a worse idea than just turning on the mics and talking about whatever.

It’s good to be flexible and adaptable and change the podcast as it goes along. Generally, though, even an aimless podcast should have a few recurring segments. It gives the people what they want. More importantly, it gives me what I want.

2. Cold Opens

A cold open only makes sense on SNL, even if it usually sucks there too. I don’t want to see the best part of your podcast episode, out of context, right away. If it’s not as funny or enlightening you think it is, it makes me not want to watch the episode.

This trend likely emerged based on common wisdom that it’s important, particularly on YouTube, to hook your viewer within the first 30 seconds. That’s why you’ll see shows with wild cuts edits subtitles and SFX at the top, only to drop off into a regular, slow-paced, stationary camera, lower-produced conversation. There’s a better way to hook people than with an out of context clip from later in the episode. It’s even worse if a podcast editor pulls the cold open from a few minutes into the episode. Then I get mad that I just heard that part, and any contextual tension leading up to it was spoiled.

Once everyone started doing cold opens, I began to detest them even more. I don’t think I’ve ever been compelled to listen to an episode because of what I saw or heard in the cold open. I have turned episodes off if the cold open sucked, though.

When I’m checking out a new podcast, I want to get straight into the meat as quickly as possible. That’s what’s going to sustain my listenership. Which leads me to my next point.

3. Rambling, Meandering, Poorly-Planned Introductions

A podcast should be able to explain what the show is about and who the hosts are in about 10 seconds. Maybe I’m old school, but I like when hosts say “Welcome to Potato Nation! I’m Mr. Head, renowned potato farmer, and this is the show where we talk potatoes.” Then they immediately introduce their cohost or guest and go straight into talking about how recent weather events have impacted the Idahoan soil or whatever.

I get that podcasters tend to establish a relationship with their audiences and that repeatedly introducing the premise of the show (if it has one) might be redundant. I also believe an intro can be quick enough that regular listeners won’t mind it, or even will appreciate beginning with the comfort of familiarity. The intro can be a template to plug jokes into, too. Podcast But Outside does a good job of this. I’m not going to link to an example. But they say mostly the same thing every time while sprinkling in fun little new things.

Much worse than no intro at all is the meandering preamble to a guest where a host begs you to subscribe to their Patreon and lists their tour dates or talks about current news events or something completely irrelevant to whatever the topic or premise of the podcast I clicked to listen to is. But even worse than all of that is the following …

4. “How was your week?”

This is the number one question that will get me to turn off a new podcast immediately. I do not care whatsoever how your week was. Especially if I’m listening to this in the distant future from when you recorded it.

Paradoxically, I actually don’t mind the idea of “How was your week” as a format for an entire podcast. It can be interesting to hear about the day-in-the-life of a comedian, athlete, musician or other profession that in pre-podcast days was more mysterious and gaurded.

There are exceptions to every rule. Doug Benson—the host who got me into podcasts years ago with Doug Loves Movies, a comedy trivia show—sometimes asks his guests how their week was. The show is audio-only, with shitty Zoom quality, which normally would drive me nuts. But I give him a pass because he’s been doing it for so long and sticking to the original DIY gritty spirit, and also I enjoy the content. Everyone’s taste is subjective. Some people like hearing about their hosts weeks. I do not.

Or I guess sometimes I do enjoy it if I’ve already bought into the host as an engaging personality who might have an entertaining anecdote about their week. Typically though this “how was your week” segment is unplanned, unrelated to the meat of the show, drags on way too long and is confusing and boring to new listeners who haven’t yet bought into the hosts as compelling voices worth spending time with. It immediately dates an episode and should be avoided at all costs.

5. Zoom calls on YouTube

It’s 2025. Covid broke out five years ago. No one wants to be on a zoom call anymore, let alone watch one.

I do think that video is imperative. If you think this is obvious, you wouldn’t believe how resistant major companies and INDUSTRY professionals are from the “pivot to video” that has occurred in recent years. There’s a lot of interesting discussion and debate about this topic, from the gender bias of looking camera-ready to how much profits people can squeeze out of audio vs. video distribution. People distrust Youtube’s closed platform and are suspicious of Spotify’s prioritization of visual content. The reasons certain audio podcasters have for abstaining from adding a video component are occasionally rational. Overall, though, that is the direction the medium is heading. Podcasts have always been meant to support mp4s. It’s not the end of the world for audio lovers.

Video is great. Zoom is not. Only in-person recordings are worth watching.

I’m not pulling a CEO and saying every podcaster must return to the office for live in studio tapings or lose their health insurance. I get that remote recordings are easier for hosts and satisfy the cravings of most crowds. A studio is better, but I don’t even think studios are that good.

Another gripe I’ll save for a future rendition is how the podcast studio has become a boring trope and keeps what could be a dynamic medium static and boring. But in person in a studio is definitely better than a Zoom call. Even setting up a camera over your shoulder as you talk to someone on Zoom via a big screen—as Micah Parson and Deebo Samuel’s respective Bleacher Report podcasts both do—is better than recording the screen of your Zoom call.

Also, there are better options than Zoom for capturing audio and video locally but I’m not gonna do an ad for Riverside.fm right now, they’re already taking too much of my money.

It really sucks to watch a Zoom call though. Adding a little border with the podcast logo on it actually makes it worse.

Podcasters who record on Zoom or an unnamed better alternative should strive to create captivating visuals without relying on the two box format that torments the work from home contingent. Throw up some graphics. Don’t put a static image and an audio waveform. Make it worth watching, somehow, please. Or don’t.

That’s all the time we have today.

If I ever send an email like this again, maybe I’ll cover more Podcast NoNos I’m too lazy to type about now, like:

• “Best of Episodes”

• Incompetent businesses

• Unrealistic expectations

• Podcasts that suck if the guests suck

• Annoying episode titles

• Podcast titles that have “podcast” in the title

• People who don’t understand how the Apple and Spotify podcast charts work but brag about high placement on them right after launching before embarrassingly plummeting out of the top 200.

• The afore-hinted-at general societal pitfalls caused by or coinciding with the increased popularity of podcasts.

I apologize as usual for sending a pointless email, but I thank you as always for reading or scrolling to the bottom. Subscribe or unsubscribe accordingly. And don’t forget to comment to get your grade for the semester.